Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Dear people towing trailers,

Perhaps you didn't realise this but once you attach a trailer to the back of your vehicle, it stays there until it is removed.

This means that as you are driving along, bar some unforseen circumstance where your trailer may become detached from your vehicle, you otherwise still have a trailer behind you.

I just mention this in the vain hope that you may stand a chance of remembering it in future as trailers are also subject to the normal laws of physics and therefore actually do take up room which you need to cater for to avoid taking off the front end of another car when you don't leave enough space before swerving suddenly to the left lane that is already occupied at that time.

She who is eternally grateful for quick reflexes and effective brakes.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Dear Drive-in Late-comers,

If it's not bad enough that you arrive after the start of the movie, why do you also feel that you are likely to find an empty spot in a row that is clearly already well-populated or that using your full headlights will help you see an otherwise hidden spot - seriously, parkers are fine at the speed you are driving and don't tend to blind the rest of the patrons.

Also, whether you are late or not, taking a spot in front of an established vehicle when your vehicle is bigger or just simply in the way is pretty damned rude. And, if you are rude/stupid enough to do this, don't get all huffy when someone nicely asks you to move. And, moving over one metre is pretty lame. Remember, at kids movies, there are usually kids present, and kids are short where you are old and fat (ok, yes, I am referring to a specific carload of people here). Think of the children!

A lover of fine entertainment presented under a star-lit sky

Friday, April 22, 2011

Dear Housework Pixies,

My house is messy and my door is open - ready when you are!

Wisful, hopeful and over cleaning the same things day after day.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Dear Drivers,

Did you know that the windows in cars are made of glass and therefore people can see you pick your nose?

Disgusted onlooker.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Dear TV Shows that frequently go on hiatis,

There will never be an explaination that I believe will sufficiently excuse TV shows going on mid-season breaks.

The excuse of rating seasons is absolutle piffle - the number of people who watch live television these days is fading into insignificance with websites (legitimate and otherwise) where shows can be streamed and downloaded, Tivo, FoxIQ, DVD records and the good ole VCR. I've never really had faith in the ratings systems anyway - and why is it when there is any type of holiday (be it one day public holidays or eight week Christmas breaks) tv stations no longer believe that anyone is watching tv at all?

Come to think of it, I really can't see why good shows can't stay on 52 weeks a year. They are written and filmed in blocks so the cast and crew would still get holidays (and significantly more than four week a year like us average joes) so why they can't just earn their money is simply beyond me.

And, while we're on the subject - canceling shows, especially mid-season, should be completely banned. Once a commitment is made, it should be seen through until the end. All cancelations do is prove how out of touch tv execs are with what people really want to watch - if they sign up something crap and no one watches it, they should be made to continue with it anyway and wear the loss.

One who still has heaps of downloads left this month but with no good shows left to watch.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dear Clean Clothes,

Isn't it time you all decided to act responsibly and learnt to fold and put yourselves away? Seriously, I shouldn't have to do this for all of you every single week of your lives!!!

Someone who is very much ahead on her washing but thinks the rest of the process is somebody else's problem.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Dear Checkout Chicky (#2),

How does a comment about easter eggs turn into an expletive decorated revelation that your husband of 18 years left you four weeks ago to shack up with a woman he'd known for three days in a place two minutes down the road from you?

As much as I feel for anyone in this sort of situation, this is seriously just too much information.

Still wishing to be anonymous

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dear Relatives,

I'm really not sure why I have become singularly responsible for the suggestions for absolutely everyone in the family in regards to presents but I have to say it is particularly wearying and takes all the shine out of birthday and christmas surprises.

Now, I'm all for making present pruchasing practical, if there is something specifical that someone wants. I'm even happy to perpetuate the charade of passing on the wish list item/s so that the recipient can maintain the semblance of surprise when they open the gift. But, when there is nothing that the person really wants, and I'm already wracking my brains on what to get them myself, how is it that I end up with the burden of working out what other people should get them as well?

Present giving should be a process of giving something that you want to give. And, frankly, if you don't know your family members well enough to know what to give them as a gift and/or you can't be bothered putting in the time and effort to find something yourself then there really is more important aspects of the relationship that need to be worked out.

The daughter who still remembers the birthday when she didn't get anything from her own mother because she didn't tell her mother anything specific that she wanted other than a surprise.